I definitely am finally enjoying being here!!! Today we started the nadi work Zhander talked about, which, despite my fears, I was not at all excluded from! He is taking us through it very slowly and very cautiously. It is intense work, most of it mental focus on where the breath is going. We are focusing on the nadi system involved with inhalations and exhalations. There are points where the prana moves during each and today, we focused on those pathways while doing Bala. No sitting yet, which is where we are heading. I guess he felt we needed more work on the pathways first. This is all the basis for pranayama practice, and I'm starting to really understand why it is so important to take these things so slowly. To jump into working with the breath in this way is not only dangerous, but a complete waste of time without setting the foundation first. And that is not only just to do the pose work but to understand energetically what is happening. To know the 'inner landscape' pretty thoroughly so that when you do go to the floor and work with the breath and energetic pathways there, you can do it consciously and mindfully, working with these energies with understanding. Otherwise, I can really see how you can do damage by awakening energies and not knowing the proper pathways they should be moving through. Let them move the wrong way and things can get stuck or feed the wrong system or whatever.
Anyway, it's fascinating and powerful stuff. Today I definitely know why I am here. The first two weeks, so much shit came out it wasn't even funny. Any residue of crap I had seemed to come flying in my face. I had been feeling very dense, very thick, and congested, bound, conflicted--you get the idea--before I came. So many new things coming into the picture, including my work at the Shala, my own project which is becoming huge. My husband, my dog, all changing, swirling. I felt lost in all the density of being in the world so much. It's easy to focus on the center and stay relatively clear when I'm not so much 'in the world.' But I've thrown myself out there in a huge way, so it's a different way of being for me now.
So, it feels like lots of cleansing and purification as all of this is coming into focus along with the work we are doing. This is definitely not just about preludes. I look forward to bringing back some of the relatively minor changes to the forms. But this work, well, this is where the real juice is for me. I hope we can find a way to continue this kind of study back home. I know I will be doing so on my own, but it would be so good to be able to work with this kind of practice together. Zhander has said that he is moving people in a direction. I feel lucky that I've plugged into this work with him at this time, when he is starting to take us more inward into the subtleties of yogic work. Yogic anatomy, he calls it. Familiar to some of you, I'm sure, but for me, it's only just now starting to really come alive on the inside.
I'm also starting to like Vienna much more. I know my way around now. Found places to buy food. I'm making new friends. I just had a really nice, fun chat with some of my fellow students, people from all over the world. Poland, Vienna, London. An Austrian woman named Sonia lived for four years in Shaker Heights, Ohio, just about 20 minutes from where I grew up in Cleveland. Very funny. And Greg, a Polish fellow who is a bit rakish and rather adorable, was an exchange student in Michigan, which is of course next to Ohio. So in this last week, I am making more connections and friends. I like being here a lot more. Feeling very much better in my own skin.
I think knowing I'll be home in a few days helps! Saturday I'll leave class a little bit early and take the subway to the airport. My plane leaves around 11am and I travel about 20 hours or so. Thanks to the time change, I'll be back Sat. night around 8:30pm Portland time! I plan to spend Sunday eating. Ha! And snuggling with my wonderful husband I miss so much and my two warm cuddly dogs. I hope they remember me!
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Btw, the comments are great! Thanks! And it would be great if folks could sign their posts so I would know who you are. :)
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