Returning...

I just got back from a rather exhausting trip to Seattle than Portland. It was all good, just a lot to process and physically has me a bit wiped out. The trip to Seattle was wonderful, being with my dear friend, Aliyah. It was physically demanding but by itself, would have been fine. But I came back and turned around and then drove to Portland to do two days of intense yoga. I could barely walk after the second day! It's been a while with yoga! I had a lovely conversation with my friend and teacher, Matt. It was good to be with him again, and with my yoga friends.

On my return, everything seems changed, alien in a way. I don't feel like I'm really home. My horse is still great, but I found out she has the worst case of parasites any horse of mine has ever had. I find that I am trusting other people's opinions more than my own. I'm not trusting myself to know what I know. I'm changing that. And I'm waiting...waiting to know what is being asked of me. If anything.

I'm tired, but I am on my way out to clean Dakota's paddock. A friend made a lovely offer of her pasture to me, in exchange for my help with some of her needs, like taking care of her three girls when she leaves town. I can't imagine not taking her up on this generous offer. A clean, green pasture for my girl, other horse friends to be made and to spend time with. A lovely and caring woman to keep an eye on her when I'm not there. Not quite as good as having her with me on our own place, but close.

I feel unsettled, uncertain. I miss my yoga practice but have no place that feels good to do it in. No room in our small space. Can't afford to rent a studio. Not sure what to do about much of anything except to get my horse healthy and safe.